On Saturday, Donald Trump held a rally in Shanksville, Pennsylvania. It was his last major media event before he appears in a New York court on Monday at the start of his first criminal trial for falsifying business records related to hush money payments to a porn star. So it was fitting that Trump was determined to make his speech particularly historic. And he succeeded.

When Abraham Lincoln dedicated the national cemetery at Gettysburg, his presentation was so unexpectedly brief that the photographer sent to capture the event could not capture it. take an image From the speech. But Trump, who has repeatedly claimed better than lincolnThe 16th President was ousted.

Lincoln spoke for about two minutes. It took Trump less than a second to deliver a speech about Gettysburg that should go down in history as one of the most ridiculous, incoherent, and ignorant statements ever made by anyone on a public platform.

Trump started by saying that Pennsylvania was the location of Valley Forge and talking about George Washington’s crossing of the Delaware, which Trump can probably remember. this funny painting, Then, except Washington occupation of airportsTrump went straight to Gettysburg.

Then he gave his best performance by a class six student giving an oral report on a book which he had failed to read.

Trump: Gettysburg, wow. I go to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, to see, and to see, and, uh, the statement of Robert Lee – who is no longer in favor of this, did you ever pay attention to that? No longer in favor of—”My boys, never fight uphill. Never fight your way up.”

This speech not only includes the motto of the new state of Pennsylvania – “Gettysburg, Wow!” – Also includes Robert E. Lee as the apparent founder of Talk Like a Pirate Day, plus a bonus dollop of love for its lead. Confederate army.

It’s amazing how much Trump packs into a 50-second speech. Trump praises the immortal heroes who saved the Union, without naming a single one of them, then goes straight to complaining about the level of respect given to the man who was trying to kill them. At one point, Trump says that Lee “lost our great general” at Gettysburg. This could mean that Trump thinks George Pickett died in his infamous charge (he didn’t) or that “Stonewall” Jackson died at Gettysburg (he didn’t). But in reality, this seems to be a very minor point in the whole matter.

Trump also neglected to mention that Lee’s campaign, which culminated in the Battle of Gettysburg, was huge. slave raid In which Lee instructed his troops to capture any black men they saw and set up a system to transport the captives back to the South. But you can’t get everything in 50 seconds.

TRUMP: What’s incredible, I mean it was so overwhelming, and so interesting, and so gruesome, and so horrifying—and so beautiful in so many ways.

The only thing more surprising than Trump’s Gettysburg Address may be how pbs, The Associated Press, the new York Times, cnnAnd Washington Post Everyone managed to cover Trump’s rally without saying a single word of this historic statement. Because the national media is covering Trump without telling Americans how disjointed and nonsensical his statements are, it’s not historic – it’s what they do every day.

If President Joe Biden had said anything so illogical, each of those same outlets would have devoted their entire front page to discussing Biden’s mental fitness. But then, as the corporate owners of media outlets everywhere say, “We need to preserve horse racing, my boys. We need to preserve horse racing.”

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