A healthy relationship isn’t all about give and take. There needs to be a balance in this so that the relationship remains healthy. But there are times when a person makes a lot of sacrifices to make his partner happy. This is a co-dependency relationship that you should not engage in for the sake of your mental health. You can view compromise as your way of showing love. So, if you’re wondering whether you’re in a co-dependent relationship, check out the signs.
What is codependent relationship?
A codependent relationship is basically a dysfunctional relationship where there is a clear power imbalance between the two partners. Ritika Aggarwal, Consultant Psychologist, Jaslok Hospital & Research Centre, Mumbai, says that usually, there are two roles in this type of relationship. One is the caregiver (also called the giver or enabler) and the other is the taker. The caregiver prioritizes the other person’s thoughts, feelings, and needs over their own and spends a lot of time making sure the other person is taken care of. On the other hand, the taker knowingly or unknowingly takes advantage of this care.
symptoms of codependent relationship
There are some warning signs that can help identify that you are in a co-dependent relationship. here are some:
1. pleasing people
Experts say that it is normal to want to please others, but if your entire focus is on pleasing others more than your own needs all the time, then it becomes a problem. For being people pleaser It can be hard for you to say no, even if it interferes with something important to you. Therefore, you may find it difficult to take care of your own needs and wants or feel like you do not have time for yourself.
2. External relationships are affected
You find it difficult to spend time with family and friends outside of this relationship. And even when you do spend time with them or on yourself (including your hobbies), you feel guilty or worried about it.
3. Poor self-esteem and self-image
both you and your partner may have low self-esteem Because one of you derives your self-worth from your ability to please the other while the other derives it from the recognition of the first person. One of you may even try to control the other out of fear of being abandoned. This can affect their self-image as well as cause them to lose touch with themselves outside of that specified relationship.
4. Lack of boundaries
Both people in the relationship have difficulty recognizing, respecting, and reinforcing their own boundaries. In co-dependent relationships, one person may find it difficult to recognize and respect boundaries, says Agarwal, while the other may not feel the need to reinforce boundaries.
One may feel an overwhelming need to take care of the other person in the relationship at all times. It is not out of affection but out of fear that something bad will happen if you do. Experts tell Health Shots that you may also feel sad when your care is not noticed or appreciated.
6. Emotional Impact
When a person feels responsible to another all the time, they are more likely to react defensively or internalize their feelings when faced with criticism. This can result in you forgetting your own needs and wants. One can blame the caregiver for any problems that may arise.
7. Poor Communication
A person may fail to identify their own needs and wants as a result of which it becomes difficult to convey what you need to the other person in the relationship.
Each person needs the other to fulfill a certain need but it also prevents both of them from growing in their respective ways. One may require assistance while the other may require verification.
ways to prevent codependency
Don’t lose hope, as there are many ways to bring the relationship back into balance. But it is important that both the partners work together on this. Some ways to deal with a codependent relationship are:
• Recognize and be aware that you are in a co-dependent relationship and need to work on it.
• If you are confused or unsure about whether or not you are in a co-dependent relationship, get an opinion from someone you trust.
• Find yourself again.
• Remind yourself that you are not responsible for other’s actions, behavior or feelings.
• Increase communication skills and discuss your concerns with each other.
, set boundaries,
• Broaden your circle of support.
Pursue your hobbies.
If you are having difficulty identifying your needs or seeking support from others, consider reaching out to a mental health professional who can help you or your partner work through this.